No Biggy…

I’m not sure how much i’m allowed to say about the forthcoming adventure as there appears to be an air of secrecy surrounding our next mission – all I will say though is that when we get dumped in the middle of this dense, deep jungle and are expected to live off our wits, determination and kendal mint cake whilst we find our way out then I’m the man for the job! I’ve seen these so-called survivor shows where the likes of Bear Grilled eats worms and livestock and quite frankly I was doing that for kicks as a four year old in my rockery at home. I’ll do whatever it takes to survive and if that means chewing worms, swallowing caterpillars or even if i’m forced into a situation where I have to gobble Simon, I’ll do it.

Bear Grilled eating a penis

I have learnt a lot about navigation over the years: i’ve played a lot of Call of Duty and been able to read the compass that you get; I’ve spent years following people on the streets for hours sometimes – tracking where they are going, what they are up to and where they live – sometimes my skilled tracking ability even means I get to see what they wear and sometimes even what they take off and I can find my way out of their house when it gets close to day light without being seen. What I will say though is that you could limit all my options in terms of technology and I could navigate using water dividers, broken branches and the mere sight of the sun.

Bring it on wilderness, you don’t stand a chance! Ross

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